Survivor Anger

 I am sure that I am not the only woman who spent the past couple of weeks engulfed in anger. Everyone knew that Trump was a rapist and a pedophile who was so enmeshed with Epstein they may as well have been conjoined twins sharing a pair of testicles. The release of the Epstein files, though, did prove that depravity of Trump and the other actors, businessmen, politicians, athletes, etc. named is only matched by their belief that their wealth, fame, and/or prominence gives them permission to commit any atrocity. The lack of response of the justice system, politicians, and the world for that matter have proven that these pigs (I refuse to call them men) are right. There has not been a time in history where men have not abused and exploited girls and women. We are the weaker sex, after all, and we learn from very early on to be wary of men, all men. 

In April 2024 the "I choose the bear" went viral.  The response was predictable: Not all men are bad; bears don't pay child support; bears are leaving the forest to escape women, and so many more that are much more misogynistic and repugnant. To be clear, I am a heterosexual woman in a monogamous marriage and I am the mother of three boys. I am well aware that not all men objectify women or are capable of sexual assault or misconduct.  What most men do not understand is that we (women) cannot tell if a man is safe and to be clear so many are not. Maybe they are not rapists or abusers, but do they laugh along with the sexist jokes, will they call out their friends or coworkers when they say disgusting things about women? In the case of Epstein where were the wealthy men who did not go to the island or agree with what they knew was happening, but did they say anything? Where were these men who did not want to participate in sexual abuse, but did not possess the moral fortitude to object, to stand up, to say something, anything. What about the wives, and yes I am talking about Queen Elizabeth the Second and Hilary Clinton. Queen Elizabeth II gave millions of dollars in lawsuit settlements and then also gave millions of dollars to charities supporting victims of sexual assault and abuse. Maybe she could have held her son accountable or perhaps have raised him to keep it in his pants and not pal around with child sex traffickers. 

We still have zero accountability for anyone mentioned in the Epstein files (at least in the United States). All these wealthy, privileged cretins are free to go about their lives. Many are still in positions of power, including of course the president of the United States. Apparently we are going to let him to face zero consequences for being a rapist and a pedophile while he destroys democracy in the United States.  Everyday that despicable, spray tanned sack of shit puts on display his misogyny, racism, ignorance, and incompetence. Yet his sycophantic supporters continue to deflect and defend the indefensible. 

 I highly recommend that everyone in this country right now read Virginia Giuffre's memoir Nobody's Girl.  Then tell me how anyone can continue to support the man mentioned nearly 40,000 times in the Epstein Files. Who says that they are a liberal hoax and that America should move on. Why is nothing being done and how do we ever move forward from the damage wrought by the current Republican party? And please do not start down the "but both sides are bad" road. No democrat is trying to protect anyone in their party who is in those files. Put them all in jail and let's also hold accountable the men and women who knew and kept silent.

My final plea to anyone who may read this is to not to become indifferent to what is happening in our nation. Be angry, speak out, read, learn, and stand up for common decency. I have had family members and former acquaintances try to make me feel stupid and ashamed for being a liberal, but they are the ones who should be ashamed. It can be really hard to keep some people at a distance, but this is not about politics, it is about morals. Ultimately each of us have to make the decision who is worthy of being in our circle.  I can be polite, professional, kind, but I do not have to allow people who do not share my values to take up space in my brain and heart. And I especially do not have to allow these people to influence my children. Also, if you know anyone who is a survivor of sexual abuse reach out to them. I guarantee that they are struggling with what is going on right now.

Legacy

 If you have been watching the news or on any form of social media you are probably aware that Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle, were recently murdered. The presumed killer is, tragically, their own son who has long struggled with addiction and mental illness. There is no doubt that this is a horrific event that has been made very public due to the fame of the victims. Let me first state that addiction along with all other mental disorders are illnesses. Unfortunately mental disorders are misdiagnosed, misunderstood, and horrifically stigmatized by the general public.

The president of the United States, Donald Trump, has written (and reiterated in interviews) that Rob Reiner was a horrible person that  deserved to be murdered because of his liberal views. 

 Since then there has been a tsunami of admonitions of Trump for his crass and insensitive remarks. Also, there has been an effusive outpouring of live for Rob and Michelle Reiner, who friends, neighbors, and acquaintances have described as kind, generous, and compassionate. Then there are the scores of people who laughed, cried, experienced every emotion from sadness to joy due to Reiner's art. 

Am I surprised that a despicable, narcissistic person said something ugly and hateful about someone who dared to criticize him? Absolutely not. If anything the last decade has proven that Trump is not only a racist, a pedophile, and a rapist he also has the emotional bandwidth of a toddler having a tantrum over not being given a second cookie. 

What truly matters right now, though, is legacy which Trump with his demolition  and renaming of buildings and covering everything in cheap gult seems overly concerned about. Rob Reiner is a beloved human being who will forever be remembered for the positive impact he had on individuals and the world. People will continue to watch The Princess Bride, A Few Good Men, Spinal Tap, old clips of All in the Family and they will laugh, cry, and ultimately feeling love for the artist and creator who made think and experience things outside of themselves. 

Trump will leave no such legacy. He is nothing but everything ugly in America scraped into a greasy wad and stuck to the bottom of someone's shoe. A century from now people will watch A Princess Bride and laugh and feel joy and Trump will just be a repulsive blot on American history that serves as a warning to future generations. 

It has been a while since I have posted on this blog or if I am honest written anything personal. Of course, I have excuses other than just being a horrible blogger. The library I work at is growing by leaps and bounds (suck on that every person who says libraries are obsolete). Also, I have been taking classes which has required a lot of academic writing (sometimes interesting, more often boring). The predominant reason I have not posted very often is that the presidential campaign, the election, and now the aftermath have left me depressed, angry, scared, and so bewildered I have not really known what to even say. I find myself identifying with Trudy the bag lady from The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life saying: "Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it." For those of you unfamiliar with that reference you absolutely must watch Lily Tomlin in the one woman performance. You can read the play by Jane Wagner , but the written word will not compare to seeing it and hearing it.

But sticking one's head in the sand and ignoring the ignorance, cruelty, and complete dismantling of our democracy and civil rights is also wrong and it is a privilege that many people do not have. Of course, there are horrible things happening right now that do personally affect me. The shuttering of the Institute for Library and Museums is terrible for my entire profession. It is an attack on education, literacy, freedom of information, and will definitely have a greater adverse impact on lower income and minority communities that desperately need services that public libraries provide. 

 

According to Kareem Weaver, a professional educator and the co-founder and executive director of

FULCRUM (Full and Complete Reading is a Universal Mandate), “Literacy is our greatest civil right.

If you can’t read you can’t access anything in our society” (The Right to Read). I know that my

profession (and love of books) makes me biased but I believe that public libraries are essential to

promoting literacy, love of reading, and learning by providing free access to books,

but also a multitude of free programs such as storytimes, book clubs, author visits, etc. 

 

I have already written profusely about book banning and the vilification of libraries and

librarians for supposedly peddling pornography i.e. anything that has LGBTQ characters. 

Not surprising that the persecution of LGBTQ individuals and the culture wars involving

"woke" or "pornographic" literature have worsened since November. You're shocked, right? 

I keep trying to channel the Lorax, but instead of saying "I speak for the trees" I am saying 

"I speak for the youth that need books that speak their truth". 

 

As important as libraries are to me personally, I know that they are not the most important issue (or 

travesty) even happening right now in our country.  There are human beings being deported to torture

prisons in another country, and for some unknown reason we as in American taxpayers are footing

the bill for this. Strange isn't it that the way to really get through to so many voters is to discuss 

the taxpayer cost rather than the complete disregard for civil rights and human life.

 

Of course, this go backs to why people voted the way they did in the first place. According to all of the 

polls the economy was the number one factor in this election. I really do not want to debate with

my neighbors, relatives, fellow Americans that decided that the price of eggs was more important than the

lives and rights of anyone that is different from them, or was not deterred by Trump being a convicted felon, 

a racist, a rapist, completely without any morals and willing to sell out our country for flattery and money.

 

It is difficult right now. I have family members that belong to a conservative church that is pro Trump, 

anti-vaccine (even though my own family member is going through chemo therapy), anti-LGBTQ, etc.

It is difficult to comprehend and it is even harder to play nice as in smile, be polite, make small talk, and 

all of those other social niceties that sometimes require us to completely ignore everything that we think,

believe. or have learned. 

I am exhausted. It has been not even been six months and I am tired of this administration and it's cruelty,

greed, and absolute incompetence and stupidity. I say this as a straight, white woman in a monogamous

marriage so I cannot even imagine the fear anyone who is not white or straight or already married with

children feels.

 

To all of those people that voted for Trump: prices and taxes will not go down (unless you are a billionaire),

someone that you know who relies on services will be hurt, someone that you know will suffer because 

critical research, grants, relief, etc. that may help them has been discontinued, and the rights of someone

that you know or care for will trampled upon and disregarded for profit or political gain.

 

I honestly do not know what else to say about what is happening right now. I highly doubt that anyone's

minds will be changed by this post. More than likely no one will even read it. But I know that I 

will have expressed what I feel and believe. In conversations with other librarians I have said that I will

always do my best to be polite, kind, and professional, but that does not mean that I owe people respect,

deference, or false equivalence for their completely idiotic opinions. 

That is it. I cannot currently say any more about what is going on with this administration without

resorting to four letter words. Also, anything I post will also lead to me being investigated by the 

DOJ. Haha, you think that I am joking but that is probably true right now.

Anyways, peace out. Please, keep reading all of the books. I do not care if it is smut, nonfiction, 

fantasy, graphic novels, whatever. Just keep reading.